Ok so today is the one year anniversary of our engagement, thus in my life probably my happiest day yet! I wish that I could feel the same today as I did a year ago, but I wouldn't be honest if I said that I did.
Don't worry there's no real troube in paradise, I love Stephen more than ever but today I am a bottle of unexplainable emotions. Let me catch you up....
First off I'm at the MS 4-H Agents Summer Conference in Tupelo, we spent the day in seminars and toured Elivs' birthplace. It's rained since I woke up yesterday. Aunt Flo has come to visit and this weekend I survived my bachelorette party with only one true problem. I lost the key to my car. Not all my keys...just the one that starts my car. Yes I know...only me huh?
I also had a shower on Sunday at Stephen's Aunt Rita's house! It was a very nice shower and we got lots of very nice things. I think I've finally figured out how to survive a shower with out crying or shaking. It's still not a very easy thing to have everyone watch you and wisper over cake and punch.
Nonetheless Sunday brought forth a very real part of our lives right now. I guess you can say that reality hit...Stephen and I had a huge discussion (it wasn't a fight I promise) about how difficult it has been for him to adjust to all of these changes at once. I get that...I understand...I guess..?
A year ago we celebrated our engagement, we made a committment to each other to share the rest of our lives together, what a wonderful memory.
Today, instead we're trying to figure out how to juggle all the changes that have happend in our lives since today last year. It started with me moving to Mississippi and taking this new job.
I think when I made this move I truly expected Stephen to be around and move to Pascagoula much sooner. When that didn't happen I upped myself on our "patience" mantra and sucked it up. He finally moved here in July and we've given ourselves less than 60 days to adjust to us...us seeing each other everyday, us spending less than three hours on the phone a night, us moving our things in together and learning how to just deal with being around each other all the time.
If that's all we had to deal with, I think we would be ok. Instead he's having to deal with figuring out a new job...helping me move, helping to finish up with a ton of wedding tasks and just adjusting to a totally new life.
This is one time will I'll be really honest, stick my life out there and bust that view of perfect life bubble. Guys, I really wish this would have happened differently. Once MAJOR life change at a time.
None of this means that I'm not more excited than ever to look him in the face in three weeks and take that committment one more step up. It's all growing pains I know that.
And yet knowing that doesn't make me feel any better about spending our one engagement anniversary on the outs.
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