A Hometown Hero

Words cannot express the pride in my heart for my brother Lynn's service to the Albany Volunteer Fire Department. Firefighter #115 was given his last call and a full fireman's honor funeral today.

If you were not there, there is no way you can possibly understand the amazing service that was held. I have a few pictures (which might seem morbid..) and the department will have more , that I will try to post later, to help you understand the honor that was bestowed on our very own Hometown Hero.

Through out the wake, a honor corps was posted. Two firefighters, one at head and one at his feet, standing still...head down. They changed guard every 15 minutes. Some of his own volunteer firefighters from Albany served and also many men who never even knew Lynn.

The State Fire Marshall, granted Cheif's request to transport his body on the District 1 fire truck that Lynn often drove. 100's of firemen from across the state of Louisiana came today to pay their respects. Fellow firemen, honor guard and pallbearers including his son Noel, loaded him on to the truck and a procession was led from the chapel to the gravesite.

Over a dozen other fire department trucks and emergency units lead the procession. At the Albany Firestation #1, the Hammond and Livingston District 5 Ladder trucks hung a flag across Hwy 43.

To my surprise I saw hundreads of people on the roadside in this small town. Not pulled over annoyed by the inconvinience of a 1pm parade, but standing, saluting and paying respects to my brother. The entire town has never seen the likes of a funeral procession like the one that was given today. I think that I knew, but I was in no way prepared for it.

Before entering the cemetary, two of the District 1 water takers were parked and sprayed Lynn's final water arch. A wonderful way of paying respect for his passing from one life into another one.

At the graveside, the dispacter achingly made his last call over the radio. With no response from Firefigher #115 and a piercing blare on all of the firemen's radios the dispatcher said "This is the last call for Firefighter 115, Lynn Rachell. He is not to respond to the station again and instead should return home to be with the Lord" (Silence)


The fireman's bell was rung, the corps folded the flag and presented it to my sister in law and they presented my newphew Noel with his helmet.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one thing I can tell you as my heart aches today is that if you do not find something in your life to be passionate about, you're not living. My brother loved three things more than life it self. He loved his family, he loved truck driving and he loved the fire deparment.

In his loving memory, I will challenge myself to live by his example.

A Walk Down Memory Lane.....

Attending Derrick and Shelia's wedding this weekend was good for my own marriage. Not just because the Priest constantly reminded couples that words hurt just as much if not more than actions and that sometimes we needed to "keep our mouths shut" so we can keep our marriages but also because everytime I go to a wedding and hear other people say "forever" I have hope that we're not the only ones crazy enough to think we can make it.

I'm open about how divorce scares me to death. It's happened to those who I care so much about and it befuddles me to know that some say forever and yet give up so soon. For others, I know that their lives are better now that their former partners are in the past.

And then I worry about couples in my life who live and love and laugh but don't make that committment. And even more my heart aches for the amazing wonderful single friends I have, and I crave that they find the companions they deserve. Truly, I want that for each of my friends.

I don't know why but I came home more appreciative of my husband and best friend than ever. I also gain a sense of responsibilitly and even the idea of how often I take the relationships I have in life for granted.

I often feel guilty for ever feeling lonely when I'm married. I have the nicest person ever come home to me each night and kiss me before he leaves each morning. I get to see all of my friends from out of town on occasions, I even schedule in some faimly time every now and then. Yet, when I least expect it my heart throbs and my soul feels alone in this battle of life.

Sometimes I think that the only reason that feeling hurts me is because it means that I have to spend time with myself. I dream of "finding myself", I think that just means to become the kind of person that I'd like to hang out with on the weekends. And as of right now, I'm not that person. I have plenty of ideas on how to get there.....I could loose weight, find a hobby that I enjoy, even do laundry or the dishes, wash my baseboards for no reason. But instead I pray for some sort of distraction so that I don't have to focus on the person I least like lately; me.

I don't know why but sometimes I expect Stephen to fix it all for me. To know when I'm feeling like this, even my friends or Mom to help me before I loose myself.

With all honesty, this is why I'm most scared of having kids right now. I'm scared that my life as I know it will completely vanish and I'll forever regreat not living or experiencing all of life that I wanted to. Then again, I think part of me is hoping to truly find myself before I have kids...maybe it's because I think I'll loose myself in their wonderfulness. Who knows?

All I know is today I'm rejuvinated by the laughter of the friends I saw this weekend and by the love in my husbands heart. Even when I feel like I'm at the worst, I'm glad to have moments to remind me how lucky in love and friendship I have been!

My new Fav blog!

So if you know me and that I'm weening myself off of Weddingbee....and you're looking for some new entertainment check out: http://dixielust.blogspot.com/

It makes me want to hop in the car and just drive! She reinforces all the love and joy that I get from living here in the South and all of our amazing adventures!

Let me know what you thinK?

Odds and Ends....because my brain is too full right now!

More than you ever wanted to know.....


Stephen and I went walking in our neighborhood yesterday!

I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast this morning!

Because I'm never with out a social project...I'm planning Noel and Tiffany's baby shower for Nov. 14th!

I hope that it's better than the bachelorette party that I bombed last week.

I love Shelia and Derrick but I wish they were getting married on another day....I'd rather be at:

Rock Eagle (because I miss my old colleagues desperately)

Zonta (becuase I'd really like to make new friends in this town, even if it means joining Civic League)

Bayfest w/ Train performing Live (It's Train, duh)

Watching the LSU vs. UGA game( b/c I'm scared LSU is going to play around)

well...I'm just thinking right now I'll take advantage of the open bar and just try to forget about these other things.

Meanwhile, I'm missing my family like crazy. And feel guilty for buying a house so far away. Not for living here but for buying a house here. go figure?

My holiday anxiety has started. Why did Target have Christmas out in September?

I don't currently own a car, for the first time in 8 years.

My Dr. says I have early signs of arthritus, so I get drugs for old people and am told that diet and exercise will help. who knew?

I would like to loose some serious weight soon, and am thinking I need some serious motivation and support!

Ok that's all for now.........

Any questions?

Some times you feel like a nut...sometimes you don't

I'm not exactly talking about Mounds and Almond Joys...but more about this blog. I had an intense desire to blog when I started this. I thought I would have words of humor or wisdom to share with the world about our first year of marriage.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all disappointed in our first year....I am however more disappointed with letting our story fall to the way side. Now I'm not promising new or constant updates but I will say that last night I knew that if I didn't blog about a certain incident I'd regret it.....


For kickers, we celebrated 1 year of marriage on Monday August 31st. The year has brought us so many ups and downs, but over all I couldn't have asked for a better way to start our marriage. Money has always been our great debate. Always.

For our Sunday night (Labor Day in this case) tradition we grabbed two movies from the Redbox....'I Love You, Man' and 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. We watched the first Monday night but ran out of time before we got to the second.

So after a long Tuesday, including a night meeting for me, I returned home to find that Stephen had sweetly prepared spaghetti for dinner and offered to watch my chic flick. Go ahead and say it......awwwwwwwwww! But just wait.

If you haven't seen the movie, consider this a spoiler. If you have...you'll know what I'm talking about...this fashion loving, working girl racks herself up some credit card debt. I think the movie first mentions $9,000 and it ends up to be about $16,500. Poor Girl.

For the record I have NO credit cards. I had two in college maxed out my $2,000 limits and then paid them off with my first job. Forgive me for being blunt but my only current debts are my student loans, my car payment...and now a mortgage. I'm not bragging by any means. Some people have debt who need it....this girl just wanted clothes with labels and the latest accesories for her I felt no sympathy!

Ladies, before the handsome suave protagonist can arrive my husband has whipped out the laptop and is asking me questions about our budget. CAN YOU BELIVE IT???? I was merely watching a work of fiction and he dives into our banking statments, bills and develops a family budget before the movie is over.

My heart sank. I know I'm not perfect. I see stuff, I often buy it. I'm overly genreous sometimes sharing or gifting things. Our new house has perhaps turned me into a monster. But nothing I buy is designer, top of the line, straight out of Southern Living. I work so hard to find it on sale or discount. I live at Hudson's for heaven's sake. But that is exactly my problem. Because it's on sale....I think, it's ok!

For the first time I feel like peer pressure has moved upon me. When friends or family or the neighbors say stuff like:
"it'll look great when you get your shutters up"
or
"have you thought about what kind of curtains or rugs you want?"
or
"let me know if you want to paint more and I'll come help"

my brain says to me.....

"ooh you need to go ahead and buy those valances for the living room"
or
"maybe I do need to paint..."
or
"I need to buy the first rug I find on sale" YOU GET THE POINT!

In my quest to finish everything with the house lately, I've been doing it a little here and a little there. This is driving Stephen CRAZY! $10 here. $7 there (even if it's on SALE) Adds up.

I'm not building some crazy mound of debt. But I'm not adding to the savings account either! I was just beyond me that the mere mentioning of debt and shopaholics annonmyous sent him in to a budgeting tither!

So I held in there....reviewed his budget and went to bed. Calm. Cool. Collected. I can do this! I need to do it. Stephen isn't being some kind of big mean restrictive man, he's looking our for us our lives and stabilitly. Luckily I work too, or else I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to justify what I do spend.

So I recognize that if I spend everything I want now, I'll never get to saving for the European vacation that I want or be able to go hog wild when we start the nursery. I did it, I tightened up for the last year with the goal of our house. It was easy to save when you didn't have room in the apartment to bring anything home to. For now...I get it and I love him for it. Yet, I admit it won't be easy to stick to the plan. Because the last thing on my mind before I went to sleep was... "what am I going to buy with my $25 house decorating allowance?"