Just in case you didn't believe me....

So I've been waiting for proof of my Cruise Director powers and I've finally found it for all the non-believers! If you remember...I wrote here: http://evietellsall.blogspot.com/2010/02/just-so-you-know.html about how serious I take my Mardi Gras traditions and about my practical melt down at Cannon's last year.


With all that said, I am actually happy to announce that due to their inadequacy in serving me what I wanted, when I wanted...they are now closed. What I do pity is the original owner, the Cannon's I fell in love with no longer existed and it is just as well that its impostor and its blueberry bread pudding, no catfish eitenne', french fry serving butts are out of work now.

With that said, I'm up for some major remodeling of my weekend. Maybe this is a good time for change! I'm inviting even more new people to Mardi Gras and preparing Napoleon and Prytania for its future as a child-friendly street corner. (With lovely friends like Lauren & Donnie, Derrick & Sheila all having babies, and perhaps my own future children I guess it's time to make this change).

I'll be in search of a new lunch plan and perhaps even a new Sparta after-party plan.  Hang in there, it'll be a good time no matter what!

Monday Morning Quarterback

So on Friday I made some of my friends a promise...."I Evelyn, do solemnly swear to apologize on Monday for what ever happens this weekend." Well ladies and gentlemen this is it:  I'M SORRY.

For those of you who don't know I had a self declared selfish weekend. I asked my friends to return the favor of my unending hospitality. For years I've attempted to plan, organize, host, DD, referee, decorate, FEED, clothe and house my friends on various occasions. This weekend I asked that I not have to be responsible for anyone but me...and that they make sure all my necessities are of their up most importance. Oh, and that even if I happen to  ignore them, complain or require additional security at any point in time that they overlook it.

Sounds ridiculous? Well it was! And..........I loved every minute!

More specifically here is what I apologize for:


... kicking you out of your own bed and making you sleep on the couch.

...riding illegally in the back seat of your car

...getting a boot put on  your car.

...calling you by your maiden name repeatedly!

... attempting to use your washer, in an unsupervised manner.

... drinking all of your Cokes.

... licking peanut butter off of your floor.

...demanding breakfast and complaining that I got toast instead of biscuits

...wearing my shades inside.

...making you load all my luggage.

... talking about you in front of your face

...making fun or mocking you for the sake of entertainment

... being so bossy; whiny; demanding; disappointed; disinterested; or disrespectful

... "kicking you off this cruise"

... stealing donuts from your friends tailgate

...spilling my drink on your husband and then wiping his crotch myself.

...making you drive my car, while I remind you it's a Hybrid 100 times and try to convince you it's different than your car!

...making you pay for anything.

...for forgetting any other offenses that I can't recall right now!

Most of all, I get to say THANKS! And I get to recognized that I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for! I guess if you were one of the afflicted the only justification is that it probably makes you appreicate the fact that I usually bring Stephen along for assistance in most of these tasks!  And just in case you're wondering........Stephen says I can't go anywhere alone or do this again anytime soon. So you're all off the hook and can feel welcome to board for my next cruise. Where there's always an air mattress and homemade breakfast!

Life as I know it........

So greetings from my annual blog place.......State 4-H Horse Show! If you didn't already know this, understand now, that I am forever hence forth plagued with being at a horse show for my birthday!

So much has been on my mind this week leading up to my 28th birthday, I really felt like I owed it to myself and maybe to some of the important people in my life to share these thoughts.

The picture above, represents so much to me.  But not without a long story. For many...er most of my adolescent years I had an underlying fear that I had been adopted by my family. This maybe normal for most teenagers but my fear was instilled by my own sister, Nanette. I have no clue why she felt compelled to kid me about not actually being my parents' child.  I thoroughly investigated this only to realize I had no pictures from the day I was born until my first Christmas (six months old).

Though my own commitment and my amazing bond with my parents prevailed I kept this thought in the back of my mind, mostly because I had no "proof".  In 2006 my mother's sister passed away. After she passed my cousin found a stack of photos marked "Save for Evie" and gave them to me just months before my wedding in 2008. So with these pictures and my adolescent years behind me I never had to worry about that again!

These treasured photos are of me and my mom holding me.........but no pictures of  me and my dad. At first I thought it was odd, but I just considered him behind the camera. There is no denying my genetic connection to my father.......my feet are all the evidence you need on that case. And on all other basis....I'm a "daddy's girl".

But recently reflecting on this picture made me realize the fact that these photos were taken of an infant 28 years ago. And yet at 28, I have no children of my own. No judgement here...I'm just saying. In my own mothers terms it would be another 10 years before I even had me!

Point is, this picture meant soooo very little to me until my biological clock started ticking. And thus is the beginning of my journey into motherhood.  In just a few months from now, Stephen and I will start trying to start a family of our own. And with God's grace, within the next few years I'll have a photo just like this one. Of me and a child, who I can only hope to raise with the patience and forgiveness that my own mother used to raise me.

The meaning of family has changed so much for me in the last few years. First loosing my Aunt/Godmother and then my sister...but now loosing my brother has hit me really hard in the last few weeks. Somewhere along the way (literally, probably while passing an 18 wheeler on I-10) I realized that today I will not get the most precious phone call ever. My brother Lynn will not call me, ask me " where ya at?" and tell me Happy Birthday. He ALWAYS called me on my birthday. ALWAYS.

And although I can't lay my hands on it today, I know that somewhere at my house is a card that he also randomly choose and mailed to me last year. I don't remember ever getting  a card and a phone call before from him....but last year I did. He took that extra step to tell me he loved me, that he was thinking about me from some truck stop somewhere to put down the 3.99, plus a stamp and to mail me a birthday card.

He did what I have only recently realized that I need to do. He stopped waiting for some future special occasion to tell me that I was special to him, that I had affected his life in a way I would never truly know. And with that inspiration I stepped up and recently did the same thing with an old friend. I told them  how they probably never realized the impact they made on my life while I was in college. And ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that it felt soooooooo good.

Just a few short months after my brother made his annual call and mailed that inaugural card, he went on from this life ahead of us. And not for one moment, did I ever have to ask myself..."how did Lynn feel about me? or Did he love me? Were we 'okay'? Was he mad at me?" Because I knew, because he always told me.

I want to live like that. I want the people in my life to know, and to never have to wonder what they meant to me. So don't be surprised if I get all soupy sappy one day and  tell you that your fingerprints are forever on the windshield of this great ride for me. I want to do it and I know its not always the easiest thing to tell people but I'm going to try to make sure that they know. And so in turn, although I won't get that call today...I got a truly precious gift of awareness from my big brother that will change the way I treat relationships in my life.  And...I get the peace of mind  because I don't have to worry what truck stop he's sleeping at tonight, I know where he's just where he belongs.

Its amazing how a photo can get you thinking........so my first stop today is to tell my mom how much this picture means to me and how thankful I am for the amazing parents I have.


Sorry for the rambling tonight, its 2AM on day 4 of this horse show. I've made a flying trip from Jackson to Arcadia and back today but wanted to get this off of my mind so I could sleep. I hope that I can share this gift with you, and that you'll tell me if you take the leap too!

Popsicles!!!!!

I have been so excited to tell everyone about an awesome little shop in New Orelans French Quarter. Just off Decatur on Dumaine is the Meltdown: Gourmet Popsicles Shop!

I just had to stop in! Not only because the current flavors in the window looked awesome but because I knew Mel would kill me if I told her I found this Vegan place...and didn't try it!

So here's some proof for you!

Cute owner....is a Mobile, AL native and made Lauren an awesome cup of Joe too!

AND FINALLY......MY VEGAN PINEAPPLE CILANTRO POPSICLE!!!

So the next time you find yourself on a long hot day in the Cresent City....check out this awesome little Jewel! Try a flavor you never thought of before, support a small business and share with a friend!

March: In like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

March 1st, brought back some frightful memories of 3/1/07. The Enterprise Torndado that day is something I'll never forget, and the storm this year was a vivid reminder.

This has been a crazy month. I haven't blogged about it and I can barely remember most of it. What I do know is that I'm so sick and tired of the cold weather. My parents got 4-6 inches of snow last night! People are on "Spring Break" and no one can play ball or go to the beach because it is freezing. We're still running the fire place and heater occasionally. Ughhh......

So I'm ready for March to SLOW DOWN! I'm ready for the kind gentleness of the 'Lamb' to take hold of my life and escort me into our Easter celebrations.

March Highlights Include:

-Alydersgate Youth Retreat...an amazing weekend with Centertreee and some awesome teens and counselors!

-Kristin and Craig's wedding!!!

- A visit from The Raborn's that featured the delivery of my evil Girl Scout Cookies! And some pretty cool Easter gifts to go along with them!

- The dawning of my High School Reunion, invitations went out, some have already RSVP'ed!

Otherwise everything else has been work and a blur!

Since I'm here I'm going to take a moment and vent.........don't be offended if this statements includes you and/or isn't 100% true...but it's just how I feel today.


I think, that I go out of my way to include and/or plan fun social events for us and our friends. I am constantly thinking of our next big thing. I like to do it, that's why I do it. I'm always inviting more people than I know will attend, just so people feel welcomed. Yet, I'm constantly amazed at how few things I am socially invited to.

When was the last time ANYONE said we would like to take you out and celebrate your birthday? OR hey we're going to do THIS, would you like to come along?  Partly this is about my friends/family but I mostly feel for Stephen. He's rarely ever invited to do anything, yet he's also always part of the planning process and inviting others along.

Perhaps its the kind of company we provide, and perhaps its just the friends we've surrounded ourselves with. As for my friends, who know how much I like to plan, organize, invite, celebrate, etc. I'm not putting a guilt trip out there, I'm just sayin that in the future, I'd simply like to be invited to something.

Ever feel left out? Or am I just feeling dopey and alone today?

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

So if you know my husband then you know that the one thing he likes to do more than anything in the world is....save money! And this especially includes holidays! So we postponed our "Valentine's Day" until this past weekend.

Now we did actually get to celebrate our love on Sunday February 14th by renewing our vows at our church. I was unexpectedly nervous about this, much the same as my own wedding day. Confident in my love for Stephen but anxiety ridden about everyone watching us!  It was a beautiful ceremony and our church even hosted a reception. WLOX our local news station came to report it and because I work with this particular reporter frequently I asked her not to film us! So she got a good shot of our hands/rings and of our wedding picture! Check it out here:
Safe Harbor UMC Couples Renew Wedding Vows- Video

So this weekend Stephen and I exchanged our 'gifts'.....I made him a dozen hand dipped chocolate strawberries and he gave me a cute little nighty (tee hee hee). That was actually a first for him, in regards to trying to shop for lingere or anything for me to wear and he did quite well!  Then he took me out after his basketball game for a steak dinner (with a free gift certificate, all we had to do was tip) It was sweet though, b/c we were the only ppl in the resturant that late!

In other news I've been thinking so much about our relationship and the relationships of our friends lately. Sometime last month I started worrying about our awesome single friends. Its so hard for me to not understand why some of the coolest, nicest, most generous and attractive people I know are single. Now don't get me wrong, I don't run around playing matchmaker  nor do I belive that its easy to 'date' in this day and age. Yet...I know that these individuals that I love so much, deserve caring and loving companionship just as much as anyone else.

I've also been troubled by worrying about other friends who are in relationships that often seem difficult. How is it that we sometimes confuse love with control. passion with sex. happieness with money. or freedom with geography? It hurts my heart to see people in my life both leave relationship prematurely without sticking out the hard times, or to hang on and endure years of hurt and pain in the name of committment.

Love is a tricky thing and when you have something so wonderful sometimes you just hope that everyone else can be blessed with the exact experience. I pray so much as so hard for my single friends and our couple friends. I pray that regardless of their relationship status that they are living the  life that God has called them to live.


My own quest for love is far from perfect and yet  Stephen and I have recently gotten a small spark of that new romance back lately. I dunno if its b/c we're finally starting to feel settled or what?  Its amazing the stuff you do extra when you're in LOVE..I got up Sunday morning and made him pancakees with fresh strawberries ans strawberry syrupfor NO special  reason...when i could have slept in!

I feel like I've been in such a depressive rut since october but i started tackling my anxiety again and I think this is the product me having the ability to leave the dishes in the sink and relax instead of stressing out about everything 24/7. Stephen probably wishes I would spend more time doing laundry and dishes than "relaxing" but hey it eventually gets done, so no harm right?

I've completed almost two months of yoga Thursdays now...and I think that's helping me too. It gives me some ME time to slow down and focus on something completely new. In the same light, Stephen just finished his basketball season with Safe Harbor. Playing basketball was a new sport for him, and he's been able to spend quality time with other positive male family and friends lately. (I didn't go to any of his games except the last two play off games!) This was his new "him" time. I think we all need that as much as we need "us" time!

I hope that each of you celebrated Valentine's Day and used it as a reminder to tell someone special that you love them and to love yourself a little too! And if you missed it (like Stephen and I did...there's still a few days left in February to celebrate your love!!!) 

Wanna share what makes you smile lately???

Just so you know....

this blog isn't Evie's pity party. Yes it gets pretty rough and I'll be the first to whine..that's just me.  On the other hand I guess you could say 'when it's good....it's really good'! So here's a little taste of those good times lately!!!


Krewe of Phoenix, Call Out Ball,  January 23, 2010

Awesome night celebrating our friend Duke Ryan and his wife Amanda! We have so much fun with them and don't get to see them often enough!  The Ball itself was very unique and entertaining. Let me just say...Natchez knows how to party!!!



Knights of Sparta roll on Napoleon and Prytania, February 6, 2010


Here's a picture of some our standard krewe lately. Greeted by Dukes Denis and Danny for some pre-parade festivities!

If you didn't know I've taken a cue from Napoleon him self and laid claim to the corner of Napoleon and Prytania. I have been very proud to celebrate Mardi Gras on the same street corner for almost 10 years now! I've literally run people off this street...and this year we were thinking that everyone got the message..... (1hour before the parade steps off....there is no one for 300 yds of us!)

Even the apartment where it all started is for RENT!!!! An unseen event during Mardi Gras' past!

And for a little bit more drama my obsessive, traditional, slightly anxiety ridden self was thrown way off during our annual lunch at Cannon's! Without picking up the menu, I ordered what I ALWAYS order.....catfish etienne. The waitress asks me what that is? I about fell out of my seat!!!!!!! I immediately asked her "what do you have new owners?" and the answer was 'yes...'.  Guys I am not crazy even Zagat lists this as one of their all time specialties !!! Anways, she went on and placed the order for me and I kinda got what I had always eaten, except it was served with French Fries and Coleslaw (since when did Cannons' start serving FF on anything other than kid's plates???)  And then it got even worse...again without refering to the menu I ordered their bread pudding and so did everyone else (on my suggestion) and lo and behold it was the devil of bread pudding! It had blueberries in it!!!! I do. not. eat. blue. stuff.

The whole luncheon was only brought delight because in my true form, I invited new guest (The soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy and Brigette Starr) to share in my favorite day experience!!!!! This beautiful couple is the sweetest thing ever and we hope to see them around on the corner of Napoleon and Prytania for many years to come!!!

So...if you think you're brave enough to hang with me on our annual Sparta day just let me know! We're currently accepting applications for new friends...b/c the current crowd is running low! You have to be willing to wear sensible shoes, tinkle at the Sophie B. Wright, talk about people (and point), put up with me and my traditions, and endure most any weather. This might sound hard core but the rewards are wonderful!!!

Young Men's Business Club, February 12, 2010
We concluded this Mardi Gras season with the most Mardi Gras, Non- Mardi Gras Ball I've ever been to. The YMBC from Moss Point is not a krewe and we were often reminded that this was not a Carnival event. Yet there was a King, Queen, Dukes and Duchesses and more important our little cousin who was the ringbearer in our wedding was the crownbearer for King Joy LXXI ! We had a delightful evening with family, friends and co-workers and I learned the hard way to save my wine excusively for dinner (and girls nights on the couch) and stick to the rest for dancing/party events!  

The theme was "Be My Valentine" for this timely event and luckily I was escorted by my wonderful Valentine.


So how'd you spend your Mardi Gras....are you sticking to the traditions or looking for new ones!

 Up next.....my Valentine's Day recap!

Random Updates.....Cloudy with a chance of spinach

- So we started "Green" Smoothies this week !!! Started adding spinach to strawberry/banana and raspberry/peach.

-I walked on Wednesday at lunch...whew that felt good.

- I've decided that I should listen to more classical music, I really love violin and guitar more than others.


*imagine that I started this and never finished...thought I'd post anyways!

To Hell and Back

Coming home this weekend makes me think the worst is over with my mom....for now at least. Last weekend was living Hell.

Stephen was able to come with me this weekend, and see her progress. It worries me that he probably thinks that I over reacted or exaggerated her condition last week. But if you read my posts, you know that in my heart of hearts I was truly worried and concerned like never before.

Prayer is a powerful thing, and I believe that the prayers of those who love her has really lifted her up and the Lord has given her the strength to restore life for just a bit longer. I can't express the joy that was taken in a simple conversation with my mother today. It's so nice to have her mentally "back" (to some degree).

We're here for a few days and then we're heading to Natchez for the Krewe of Phoenix Call Out Ball. We're really excited about it! Our friends Ryan and Amanda, were so sweet to invite us and we're looking forward to a fun night. Gosh knows I could use some stress relief around here.

I've been enjoying my time home, even thought the physical environment here wears on me. My brother Timmy and his girlfriend Lory are being extra sweet and helpful. Its nice having her around to talk to about my mom...kinda reminds me of my sister, whom I miss dearly.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope that you slow down long enough to hug someone you love and don't see often or at least call them for a few quality moments. Time is such a precious thing and I think that we often waste it without realizing the consequences.

So...who is that extra special person  you're  gonna hug/call?????

I'm out of ink... I'm so busy drawing new conclusions

So for any of who understand the amazing frustrations of mother-daughter relationships I'd like to share with you my thoughts for today:

I've come to the conclusion that having to beg my mom to eat "ANYTHING, just one bite" is pay back for my years of feeding English Peas and liver to the dog under the table.

I've come to the conclusion that my Mother's frustrating blank stares, are the pay back for all those teenage years of "silent treatment".

I've come to the conclusion that having to deal with my Mother's sometimes senile husband (yes my father), is payback for her having to deal with any hard headed heart throb that I ever considered bringing home. (and probably my punishment for marrying a Methodist too!)

I'm also convinced that her insistance to wearing just certian nightgowns and slippers and having this one special pillow, and these socks not those socks, and a specific cup for coffee and a special one for water, is my serious payback for being such a particular child...and maybe, just maybe adult.

I say all this with pure heart because right now I'm only laughing to keep from crying.

Although having not yet been blessed with children, I will say that it makes one reconsider the ramificiations of raising a child.

On a positive note, I do belive that the prayers are working. Two days ago I decided to put out the message for all my prayer warriors. This seems harder to do lately, because I don't want the extra attention but just feel the need to call upon my fellow believers.  Mom has started eating light but vitamin and protein rich meals. She's also still sleeping. alot. She had moments last night and mid-day today where when she was 'up', she was a bit more alert than other times. (During the Saitnts game was one!)  To be honest, her spunk just isn't back yet so please keep praying.

Thanks for all the love and support, I feel it all around me.

If I knew then, what I know now......

When I named this blog, it was in jester towards learning about life and mostly marriage. Yet, during my life since marriage the only thing steady has been my marriage itself. It seems to be the easy part of this equation and I'm very thankful for that.

I'm writing from home (Downsville,LA) tonight. I've endure an emotional week of not being able to talk to my mom on the phone and made the decision to come see her. I'm not writing asking for sympathy but just sharing the thoughts crammed into my mind through this process. Its a process right?

Regardless of what "this" is...all I can keep telling Stephen and myself is that I'm not ready for "this".  I won't bore you to recant the chronicals of my mom's health, not because I don't think that you deserve to hear it but more because it's too complicated to explain and I'm not trying to expose her any more than she's already enduring.

So,I'll talk a bit more about how this affects our relationship and ask your advice as to what role I play in her life now. I've been with her through so many medical delimas. I was 5 when she had her first stroke. I was 9 when she had her pacemaker put in and gallbladder taken out. Then I spent the next 6 years on a montly cycle of her being in and out of the hospital (including stents in ICU).  Through it all it is seeing her in pain that hurts me the most. The helplessness that I feel when I can't do anything to make her feel better is something I can't describe.

Coming home to her tonight has scared me to death life. Something changes about your parental relationship when you're holding the yogurt spoon and telling the person who breastfed you, to "open wide and take just. one. bite". Something aches when you raise your voice and frustratingly plea with the person who spent years consoling you and wiping your tears away. And then something breaks when you scold yourself for having fleeting thoughts of how to give someone the comfort and rest they so desperately deserve.

Some of you know that my adolescent heart spent years thinking that mom wouldn't live to see me graduate high school, much less college. Then my prayers turned to the hope that she's see me walk down the aisle on my daddy's arm and spend a relaxing weekend at 'my' house. And now, she's convinced me that my only prayer be that she live to see my firstborn child.

Amazing. Yet, I've decided not to allow her to hold me on some pedastel and make that her life's goal. Because right now I feel like if I allow that, then I'm not pushing her to look past that. To look at the years beyond my fist child. JUST LIFE. Not any thing specific,why do we have to narrow things down like that? Make them fit in the "goal cubby holes of life"?  Yay, that's one's filled now we can move along?  That's not fair. Fair for me or for anyone else.

So, I've decided not to let myself get caught up in this moment and to keep looking ahead. This is just another "thing" and all I can do is pray she'll get through this and live to endure the next 'thing'.

I don't want sympathy from the people in my life who know I'm going though this. I want strength, I want empowerment, I want positive reinforcement (the REAL kind, not the crappy half-grinned generic stuff). I want people to pray for me and with me. I want to get through this with the kind of positive spirit that overflows to the point that she can feed off my strength and patience, and know that her only hope for comfort lies in the Lord.

I feel like I've probably said way too much, and yet I don't feel like I explained enough.  So I guess I'll just leave it at this.

Well I haven't given up yet....not quite anyway

So Thursday I returned in the rain and the freezing cold to the Moss Point Rec for my 2nd yoga class. Gloria (the only other  student in my class on Tuesday) brought her sister-in-law and neice to class.  So this made 4.

I am enjoying the class. I don't break a sweat, and yet I don't hold poses quite as long as my instructor either. I'm still working on my breathing techniques and haven't really felt sore this week. So I don't know that I'm making any real physical advancement but mentally its wonderful.

I won't get to go to class at all next week because of work, but I'll try and catch up with some of the morning videos.

Meanwhile, it sucks a bit to be dress shopping right now. I feel like crap. Nothing I want to fit does and I really can't "afford" anything that I like. So it just breaks my spirit to be searching for something that I know I can't have even if I found it.

Money is a sorry topic. It sends instant shivers up my spine and I don't know how different my financial situation would be if I was single...but I can acknowledge that it is the way it is because I'm married. 'nough said.

Oh I wanted a snow day today sooo bad. So many offices closed because of icy roads and I desperately wanted to stay home curled up in the bed. Instead, I ventured out and rewarded myself with the worst thing possible: food.

Breakfast from McD's and an awesome sushi lunch. Emotionally food really makes me happy. And then I think of those dresses I'm trying to fit in and I feel like crap again.

I don't know the answer to my own questions so I'll leave it up to you........am I the only one who is emotionally comforted and rewarded by food only to regret it later?

Namaste... " I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me."

o I did it. I went to yoga at the Moss Point Rec Center last night. I didn't have high expectation of the class or the center...and honestly I wasn't overly impressed or disappointed. More proud of myself for believing that I can do anything that any thin, rich, popular girl can do. Or atleast that I have the right to try.

I know that sounds pitiful but that's the way I feel about things sometimes, that it would all just be easier to walk into a room of athletes or to order a salad for lunch (b/c I like salads) if I were thin and rich. Ha! Well maybe I took the highroad on this one, convincing myself that I'd "fit right in" and hoping there would be a room full of other misfits to go with me.

So, my instructor (practically private instructor) is Quinton. A sweet man in his early sixties who was either nervous about teaching or I scared the crap out of.....offered to do the class anyway since I was the only one to show up! Sweet! Then another lady in her late thirties joined our class. I could handle this...just the two of us!

Meanwhile, I've been watching every morning the Aire Yoga classes on VME/ Florida PBS



I love this lady, she's an awesome instructor! I don't understand allt hat she's saying in Spanish but I've learned enough to recognize the same poses that Quinton refered to.

Anyways this was my exciting step yesterday. I've continued to bring my lunch to work yesterday and today, as well as drink between 22 and 40 ounces of water a day.

So how's it coming? Have you taken your first step yet?

One step at a time...

Well I'm not one on New Years Resoloutions...mostly because I always let myself down. But I have committed to start changing some things in my life, starting with my weight.

I don't know any other way to do this than little steps. Thanks to my friend Mel, I've started increasing my daily  water intake since before the holidays. Yes, it took bribing me with editing  my own wedding pictures...but it's working. I haven't been 100% consistant with this but I'm much better when I'm at work, sitting at my desk.

To hopefully motivate others and to keep myself going, I'll try to post some of my progress on here as it comes. This could mean daily or weekly....so just keep checking in and if you have it in you giving me some kudos!




So here's some the things I did differently today to change my life:



I woke up at 5:30 with Stephen, ate two pieces of toast w/ 6oz of OJ and STAYED UP! I didn't go back to bed. I had ideas of exercising but instead vegged out on the couch and watched an awesome Yoga workout in Spanish! I need to increase my Spanish anyways, this was a great starter.  Its ok, you can laugh that I watched a one hour yoga work out from my couch. I  think I'll try part of it tomorrow, I just wanted to see what it was all about!

I brought my lunch to work, although when it came time to eat it I had so little appatite I threw most of it away. And I'm drinking my water.

I hope to get on the eclipe machine and watch 30 mins of TV. We'll see if that happens.

Other news....I'm excited that we have TWO black tie events coming up. I'm looking for one formal dress that will help me feel better about me! I wish I had some time to shed the pounds before these events. But meanwhile, I'll just work on other things in between!



Are you changing atleast one thing everyday, if so let me know? I'm going to try one step at a time!

A Hometown Hero

Words cannot express the pride in my heart for my brother Lynn's service to the Albany Volunteer Fire Department. Firefighter #115 was given his last call and a full fireman's honor funeral today.

If you were not there, there is no way you can possibly understand the amazing service that was held. I have a few pictures (which might seem morbid..) and the department will have more , that I will try to post later, to help you understand the honor that was bestowed on our very own Hometown Hero.

Through out the wake, a honor corps was posted. Two firefighters, one at head and one at his feet, standing still...head down. They changed guard every 15 minutes. Some of his own volunteer firefighters from Albany served and also many men who never even knew Lynn.

The State Fire Marshall, granted Cheif's request to transport his body on the District 1 fire truck that Lynn often drove. 100's of firemen from across the state of Louisiana came today to pay their respects. Fellow firemen, honor guard and pallbearers including his son Noel, loaded him on to the truck and a procession was led from the chapel to the gravesite.

Over a dozen other fire department trucks and emergency units lead the procession. At the Albany Firestation #1, the Hammond and Livingston District 5 Ladder trucks hung a flag across Hwy 43.

To my surprise I saw hundreads of people on the roadside in this small town. Not pulled over annoyed by the inconvinience of a 1pm parade, but standing, saluting and paying respects to my brother. The entire town has never seen the likes of a funeral procession like the one that was given today. I think that I knew, but I was in no way prepared for it.

Before entering the cemetary, two of the District 1 water takers were parked and sprayed Lynn's final water arch. A wonderful way of paying respect for his passing from one life into another one.

At the graveside, the dispacter achingly made his last call over the radio. With no response from Firefigher #115 and a piercing blare on all of the firemen's radios the dispatcher said "This is the last call for Firefighter 115, Lynn Rachell. He is not to respond to the station again and instead should return home to be with the Lord" (Silence)


The fireman's bell was rung, the corps folded the flag and presented it to my sister in law and they presented my newphew Noel with his helmet.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one thing I can tell you as my heart aches today is that if you do not find something in your life to be passionate about, you're not living. My brother loved three things more than life it self. He loved his family, he loved truck driving and he loved the fire deparment.

In his loving memory, I will challenge myself to live by his example.

A Walk Down Memory Lane.....

Attending Derrick and Shelia's wedding this weekend was good for my own marriage. Not just because the Priest constantly reminded couples that words hurt just as much if not more than actions and that sometimes we needed to "keep our mouths shut" so we can keep our marriages but also because everytime I go to a wedding and hear other people say "forever" I have hope that we're not the only ones crazy enough to think we can make it.

I'm open about how divorce scares me to death. It's happened to those who I care so much about and it befuddles me to know that some say forever and yet give up so soon. For others, I know that their lives are better now that their former partners are in the past.

And then I worry about couples in my life who live and love and laugh but don't make that committment. And even more my heart aches for the amazing wonderful single friends I have, and I crave that they find the companions they deserve. Truly, I want that for each of my friends.

I don't know why but I came home more appreciative of my husband and best friend than ever. I also gain a sense of responsibilitly and even the idea of how often I take the relationships I have in life for granted.

I often feel guilty for ever feeling lonely when I'm married. I have the nicest person ever come home to me each night and kiss me before he leaves each morning. I get to see all of my friends from out of town on occasions, I even schedule in some faimly time every now and then. Yet, when I least expect it my heart throbs and my soul feels alone in this battle of life.

Sometimes I think that the only reason that feeling hurts me is because it means that I have to spend time with myself. I dream of "finding myself", I think that just means to become the kind of person that I'd like to hang out with on the weekends. And as of right now, I'm not that person. I have plenty of ideas on how to get there.....I could loose weight, find a hobby that I enjoy, even do laundry or the dishes, wash my baseboards for no reason. But instead I pray for some sort of distraction so that I don't have to focus on the person I least like lately; me.

I don't know why but sometimes I expect Stephen to fix it all for me. To know when I'm feeling like this, even my friends or Mom to help me before I loose myself.

With all honesty, this is why I'm most scared of having kids right now. I'm scared that my life as I know it will completely vanish and I'll forever regreat not living or experiencing all of life that I wanted to. Then again, I think part of me is hoping to truly find myself before I have kids...maybe it's because I think I'll loose myself in their wonderfulness. Who knows?

All I know is today I'm rejuvinated by the laughter of the friends I saw this weekend and by the love in my husbands heart. Even when I feel like I'm at the worst, I'm glad to have moments to remind me how lucky in love and friendship I have been!

My new Fav blog!

So if you know me and that I'm weening myself off of Weddingbee....and you're looking for some new entertainment check out: http://dixielust.blogspot.com/

It makes me want to hop in the car and just drive! She reinforces all the love and joy that I get from living here in the South and all of our amazing adventures!

Let me know what you thinK?

Odds and Ends....because my brain is too full right now!

More than you ever wanted to know.....


Stephen and I went walking in our neighborhood yesterday!

I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast this morning!

Because I'm never with out a social project...I'm planning Noel and Tiffany's baby shower for Nov. 14th!

I hope that it's better than the bachelorette party that I bombed last week.

I love Shelia and Derrick but I wish they were getting married on another day....I'd rather be at:

Rock Eagle (because I miss my old colleagues desperately)

Zonta (becuase I'd really like to make new friends in this town, even if it means joining Civic League)

Bayfest w/ Train performing Live (It's Train, duh)

Watching the LSU vs. UGA game( b/c I'm scared LSU is going to play around)

well...I'm just thinking right now I'll take advantage of the open bar and just try to forget about these other things.

Meanwhile, I'm missing my family like crazy. And feel guilty for buying a house so far away. Not for living here but for buying a house here. go figure?

My holiday anxiety has started. Why did Target have Christmas out in September?

I don't currently own a car, for the first time in 8 years.

My Dr. says I have early signs of arthritus, so I get drugs for old people and am told that diet and exercise will help. who knew?

I would like to loose some serious weight soon, and am thinking I need some serious motivation and support!

Ok that's all for now.........

Any questions?

Some times you feel like a nut...sometimes you don't

I'm not exactly talking about Mounds and Almond Joys...but more about this blog. I had an intense desire to blog when I started this. I thought I would have words of humor or wisdom to share with the world about our first year of marriage.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all disappointed in our first year....I am however more disappointed with letting our story fall to the way side. Now I'm not promising new or constant updates but I will say that last night I knew that if I didn't blog about a certain incident I'd regret it.....


For kickers, we celebrated 1 year of marriage on Monday August 31st. The year has brought us so many ups and downs, but over all I couldn't have asked for a better way to start our marriage. Money has always been our great debate. Always.

For our Sunday night (Labor Day in this case) tradition we grabbed two movies from the Redbox....'I Love You, Man' and 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. We watched the first Monday night but ran out of time before we got to the second.

So after a long Tuesday, including a night meeting for me, I returned home to find that Stephen had sweetly prepared spaghetti for dinner and offered to watch my chic flick. Go ahead and say it......awwwwwwwwww! But just wait.

If you haven't seen the movie, consider this a spoiler. If you have...you'll know what I'm talking about...this fashion loving, working girl racks herself up some credit card debt. I think the movie first mentions $9,000 and it ends up to be about $16,500. Poor Girl.

For the record I have NO credit cards. I had two in college maxed out my $2,000 limits and then paid them off with my first job. Forgive me for being blunt but my only current debts are my student loans, my car payment...and now a mortgage. I'm not bragging by any means. Some people have debt who need it....this girl just wanted clothes with labels and the latest accesories for her I felt no sympathy!

Ladies, before the handsome suave protagonist can arrive my husband has whipped out the laptop and is asking me questions about our budget. CAN YOU BELIVE IT???? I was merely watching a work of fiction and he dives into our banking statments, bills and develops a family budget before the movie is over.

My heart sank. I know I'm not perfect. I see stuff, I often buy it. I'm overly genreous sometimes sharing or gifting things. Our new house has perhaps turned me into a monster. But nothing I buy is designer, top of the line, straight out of Southern Living. I work so hard to find it on sale or discount. I live at Hudson's for heaven's sake. But that is exactly my problem. Because it's on sale....I think, it's ok!

For the first time I feel like peer pressure has moved upon me. When friends or family or the neighbors say stuff like:
"it'll look great when you get your shutters up"
or
"have you thought about what kind of curtains or rugs you want?"
or
"let me know if you want to paint more and I'll come help"

my brain says to me.....

"ooh you need to go ahead and buy those valances for the living room"
or
"maybe I do need to paint..."
or
"I need to buy the first rug I find on sale" YOU GET THE POINT!

In my quest to finish everything with the house lately, I've been doing it a little here and a little there. This is driving Stephen CRAZY! $10 here. $7 there (even if it's on SALE) Adds up.

I'm not building some crazy mound of debt. But I'm not adding to the savings account either! I was just beyond me that the mere mentioning of debt and shopaholics annonmyous sent him in to a budgeting tither!

So I held in there....reviewed his budget and went to bed. Calm. Cool. Collected. I can do this! I need to do it. Stephen isn't being some kind of big mean restrictive man, he's looking our for us our lives and stabilitly. Luckily I work too, or else I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to justify what I do spend.

So I recognize that if I spend everything I want now, I'll never get to saving for the European vacation that I want or be able to go hog wild when we start the nursery. I did it, I tightened up for the last year with the goal of our house. It was easy to save when you didn't have room in the apartment to bring anything home to. For now...I get it and I love him for it. Yet, I admit it won't be easy to stick to the plan. Because the last thing on my mind before I went to sleep was... "what am I going to buy with my $25 house decorating allowance?"

Post Wedding Day #95

I have no clue where time goes. The last 100 days before our wedding felt like eternity! And yet, the last 95 have flown by.


The last 10 days have been pretty exciting for me! Thanksgivng in Stringer was nice. My parents came down, Aunt Barbara & Uncle Doug, Julie & Scott, Aunt Jane (who is in a better mood), Ken & Diane and Jon! It was nasty rainy weather most of the weekend.

Saturday Stephen and I went to watch the Iron Bowl and to a Bowfire concert. It was so awesome!

Sunday we unpacked our Christmas wreath and Advent wreath, with anticipation for a small tree. We weren't sure we'd have room for a big one. I hung lights over the dining room table! Our little apartment isn't much to decorate but we're making the best of it!

Monday Lauren gave birth to a health 8lb 13oz baby boy! William Hunter Raborn! Our new Godson! We're so excited. I drove down and back on Monday night just to see him!


Last night we got a 3' artificial tree from Stephen's mom to put on the hearth it's kinda pitiful looking. I have about 10 ornaments and 2 strings of lights on it. I hope we'll get more ornaments this year, especially since it is our first Christmas together.

I'm looking forward to Christmas and the rest of the holidays! We both get two weeks off! And have plans to see friends and family!

Well that's the up date for now...sorry life has been too busy to take time and share!