Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

So if you know my husband then you know that the one thing he likes to do more than anything in the world is....save money! And this especially includes holidays! So we postponed our "Valentine's Day" until this past weekend.

Now we did actually get to celebrate our love on Sunday February 14th by renewing our vows at our church. I was unexpectedly nervous about this, much the same as my own wedding day. Confident in my love for Stephen but anxiety ridden about everyone watching us!  It was a beautiful ceremony and our church even hosted a reception. WLOX our local news station came to report it and because I work with this particular reporter frequently I asked her not to film us! So she got a good shot of our hands/rings and of our wedding picture! Check it out here:
Safe Harbor UMC Couples Renew Wedding Vows- Video

So this weekend Stephen and I exchanged our 'gifts'.....I made him a dozen hand dipped chocolate strawberries and he gave me a cute little nighty (tee hee hee). That was actually a first for him, in regards to trying to shop for lingere or anything for me to wear and he did quite well!  Then he took me out after his basketball game for a steak dinner (with a free gift certificate, all we had to do was tip) It was sweet though, b/c we were the only ppl in the resturant that late!

In other news I've been thinking so much about our relationship and the relationships of our friends lately. Sometime last month I started worrying about our awesome single friends. Its so hard for me to not understand why some of the coolest, nicest, most generous and attractive people I know are single. Now don't get me wrong, I don't run around playing matchmaker  nor do I belive that its easy to 'date' in this day and age. Yet...I know that these individuals that I love so much, deserve caring and loving companionship just as much as anyone else.

I've also been troubled by worrying about other friends who are in relationships that often seem difficult. How is it that we sometimes confuse love with control. passion with sex. happieness with money. or freedom with geography? It hurts my heart to see people in my life both leave relationship prematurely without sticking out the hard times, or to hang on and endure years of hurt and pain in the name of committment.

Love is a tricky thing and when you have something so wonderful sometimes you just hope that everyone else can be blessed with the exact experience. I pray so much as so hard for my single friends and our couple friends. I pray that regardless of their relationship status that they are living the  life that God has called them to live.


My own quest for love is far from perfect and yet  Stephen and I have recently gotten a small spark of that new romance back lately. I dunno if its b/c we're finally starting to feel settled or what?  Its amazing the stuff you do extra when you're in LOVE..I got up Sunday morning and made him pancakees with fresh strawberries ans strawberry syrupfor NO special  reason...when i could have slept in!

I feel like I've been in such a depressive rut since october but i started tackling my anxiety again and I think this is the product me having the ability to leave the dishes in the sink and relax instead of stressing out about everything 24/7. Stephen probably wishes I would spend more time doing laundry and dishes than "relaxing" but hey it eventually gets done, so no harm right?

I've completed almost two months of yoga Thursdays now...and I think that's helping me too. It gives me some ME time to slow down and focus on something completely new. In the same light, Stephen just finished his basketball season with Safe Harbor. Playing basketball was a new sport for him, and he's been able to spend quality time with other positive male family and friends lately. (I didn't go to any of his games except the last two play off games!) This was his new "him" time. I think we all need that as much as we need "us" time!

I hope that each of you celebrated Valentine's Day and used it as a reminder to tell someone special that you love them and to love yourself a little too! And if you missed it (like Stephen and I did...there's still a few days left in February to celebrate your love!!!) 

Wanna share what makes you smile lately???

Just so you know....

this blog isn't Evie's pity party. Yes it gets pretty rough and I'll be the first to whine..that's just me.  On the other hand I guess you could say 'when it's good....it's really good'! So here's a little taste of those good times lately!!!


Krewe of Phoenix, Call Out Ball,  January 23, 2010

Awesome night celebrating our friend Duke Ryan and his wife Amanda! We have so much fun with them and don't get to see them often enough!  The Ball itself was very unique and entertaining. Let me just say...Natchez knows how to party!!!



Knights of Sparta roll on Napoleon and Prytania, February 6, 2010


Here's a picture of some our standard krewe lately. Greeted by Dukes Denis and Danny for some pre-parade festivities!

If you didn't know I've taken a cue from Napoleon him self and laid claim to the corner of Napoleon and Prytania. I have been very proud to celebrate Mardi Gras on the same street corner for almost 10 years now! I've literally run people off this street...and this year we were thinking that everyone got the message..... (1hour before the parade steps off....there is no one for 300 yds of us!)

Even the apartment where it all started is for RENT!!!! An unseen event during Mardi Gras' past!

And for a little bit more drama my obsessive, traditional, slightly anxiety ridden self was thrown way off during our annual lunch at Cannon's! Without picking up the menu, I ordered what I ALWAYS order.....catfish etienne. The waitress asks me what that is? I about fell out of my seat!!!!!!! I immediately asked her "what do you have new owners?" and the answer was 'yes...'.  Guys I am not crazy even Zagat lists this as one of their all time specialties !!! Anways, she went on and placed the order for me and I kinda got what I had always eaten, except it was served with French Fries and Coleslaw (since when did Cannons' start serving FF on anything other than kid's plates???)  And then it got even worse...again without refering to the menu I ordered their bread pudding and so did everyone else (on my suggestion) and lo and behold it was the devil of bread pudding! It had blueberries in it!!!! I do. not. eat. blue. stuff.

The whole luncheon was only brought delight because in my true form, I invited new guest (The soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy and Brigette Starr) to share in my favorite day experience!!!!! This beautiful couple is the sweetest thing ever and we hope to see them around on the corner of Napoleon and Prytania for many years to come!!!

So...if you think you're brave enough to hang with me on our annual Sparta day just let me know! We're currently accepting applications for new friends...b/c the current crowd is running low! You have to be willing to wear sensible shoes, tinkle at the Sophie B. Wright, talk about people (and point), put up with me and my traditions, and endure most any weather. This might sound hard core but the rewards are wonderful!!!

Young Men's Business Club, February 12, 2010
We concluded this Mardi Gras season with the most Mardi Gras, Non- Mardi Gras Ball I've ever been to. The YMBC from Moss Point is not a krewe and we were often reminded that this was not a Carnival event. Yet there was a King, Queen, Dukes and Duchesses and more important our little cousin who was the ringbearer in our wedding was the crownbearer for King Joy LXXI ! We had a delightful evening with family, friends and co-workers and I learned the hard way to save my wine excusively for dinner (and girls nights on the couch) and stick to the rest for dancing/party events!  

The theme was "Be My Valentine" for this timely event and luckily I was escorted by my wonderful Valentine.


So how'd you spend your Mardi Gras....are you sticking to the traditions or looking for new ones!

 Up next.....my Valentine's Day recap!

Random Updates.....Cloudy with a chance of spinach

- So we started "Green" Smoothies this week !!! Started adding spinach to strawberry/banana and raspberry/peach.

-I walked on Wednesday at lunch...whew that felt good.

- I've decided that I should listen to more classical music, I really love violin and guitar more than others.


*imagine that I started this and never finished...thought I'd post anyways!

To Hell and Back

Coming home this weekend makes me think the worst is over with my mom....for now at least. Last weekend was living Hell.

Stephen was able to come with me this weekend, and see her progress. It worries me that he probably thinks that I over reacted or exaggerated her condition last week. But if you read my posts, you know that in my heart of hearts I was truly worried and concerned like never before.

Prayer is a powerful thing, and I believe that the prayers of those who love her has really lifted her up and the Lord has given her the strength to restore life for just a bit longer. I can't express the joy that was taken in a simple conversation with my mother today. It's so nice to have her mentally "back" (to some degree).

We're here for a few days and then we're heading to Natchez for the Krewe of Phoenix Call Out Ball. We're really excited about it! Our friends Ryan and Amanda, were so sweet to invite us and we're looking forward to a fun night. Gosh knows I could use some stress relief around here.

I've been enjoying my time home, even thought the physical environment here wears on me. My brother Timmy and his girlfriend Lory are being extra sweet and helpful. Its nice having her around to talk to about my mom...kinda reminds me of my sister, whom I miss dearly.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope that you slow down long enough to hug someone you love and don't see often or at least call them for a few quality moments. Time is such a precious thing and I think that we often waste it without realizing the consequences.

So...who is that extra special person  you're  gonna hug/call?????

I'm out of ink... I'm so busy drawing new conclusions

So for any of who understand the amazing frustrations of mother-daughter relationships I'd like to share with you my thoughts for today:

I've come to the conclusion that having to beg my mom to eat "ANYTHING, just one bite" is pay back for my years of feeding English Peas and liver to the dog under the table.

I've come to the conclusion that my Mother's frustrating blank stares, are the pay back for all those teenage years of "silent treatment".

I've come to the conclusion that having to deal with my Mother's sometimes senile husband (yes my father), is payback for her having to deal with any hard headed heart throb that I ever considered bringing home. (and probably my punishment for marrying a Methodist too!)

I'm also convinced that her insistance to wearing just certian nightgowns and slippers and having this one special pillow, and these socks not those socks, and a specific cup for coffee and a special one for water, is my serious payback for being such a particular child...and maybe, just maybe adult.

I say all this with pure heart because right now I'm only laughing to keep from crying.

Although having not yet been blessed with children, I will say that it makes one reconsider the ramificiations of raising a child.

On a positive note, I do belive that the prayers are working. Two days ago I decided to put out the message for all my prayer warriors. This seems harder to do lately, because I don't want the extra attention but just feel the need to call upon my fellow believers.  Mom has started eating light but vitamin and protein rich meals. She's also still sleeping. alot. She had moments last night and mid-day today where when she was 'up', she was a bit more alert than other times. (During the Saitnts game was one!)  To be honest, her spunk just isn't back yet so please keep praying.

Thanks for all the love and support, I feel it all around me.

If I knew then, what I know now......

When I named this blog, it was in jester towards learning about life and mostly marriage. Yet, during my life since marriage the only thing steady has been my marriage itself. It seems to be the easy part of this equation and I'm very thankful for that.

I'm writing from home (Downsville,LA) tonight. I've endure an emotional week of not being able to talk to my mom on the phone and made the decision to come see her. I'm not writing asking for sympathy but just sharing the thoughts crammed into my mind through this process. Its a process right?

Regardless of what "this" is...all I can keep telling Stephen and myself is that I'm not ready for "this".  I won't bore you to recant the chronicals of my mom's health, not because I don't think that you deserve to hear it but more because it's too complicated to explain and I'm not trying to expose her any more than she's already enduring.

So,I'll talk a bit more about how this affects our relationship and ask your advice as to what role I play in her life now. I've been with her through so many medical delimas. I was 5 when she had her first stroke. I was 9 when she had her pacemaker put in and gallbladder taken out. Then I spent the next 6 years on a montly cycle of her being in and out of the hospital (including stents in ICU).  Through it all it is seeing her in pain that hurts me the most. The helplessness that I feel when I can't do anything to make her feel better is something I can't describe.

Coming home to her tonight has scared me to death life. Something changes about your parental relationship when you're holding the yogurt spoon and telling the person who breastfed you, to "open wide and take just. one. bite". Something aches when you raise your voice and frustratingly plea with the person who spent years consoling you and wiping your tears away. And then something breaks when you scold yourself for having fleeting thoughts of how to give someone the comfort and rest they so desperately deserve.

Some of you know that my adolescent heart spent years thinking that mom wouldn't live to see me graduate high school, much less college. Then my prayers turned to the hope that she's see me walk down the aisle on my daddy's arm and spend a relaxing weekend at 'my' house. And now, she's convinced me that my only prayer be that she live to see my firstborn child.

Amazing. Yet, I've decided not to allow her to hold me on some pedastel and make that her life's goal. Because right now I feel like if I allow that, then I'm not pushing her to look past that. To look at the years beyond my fist child. JUST LIFE. Not any thing specific,why do we have to narrow things down like that? Make them fit in the "goal cubby holes of life"?  Yay, that's one's filled now we can move along?  That's not fair. Fair for me or for anyone else.

So, I've decided not to let myself get caught up in this moment and to keep looking ahead. This is just another "thing" and all I can do is pray she'll get through this and live to endure the next 'thing'.

I don't want sympathy from the people in my life who know I'm going though this. I want strength, I want empowerment, I want positive reinforcement (the REAL kind, not the crappy half-grinned generic stuff). I want people to pray for me and with me. I want to get through this with the kind of positive spirit that overflows to the point that she can feed off my strength and patience, and know that her only hope for comfort lies in the Lord.

I feel like I've probably said way too much, and yet I don't feel like I explained enough.  So I guess I'll just leave it at this.

Well I haven't given up yet....not quite anyway

So Thursday I returned in the rain and the freezing cold to the Moss Point Rec for my 2nd yoga class. Gloria (the only other  student in my class on Tuesday) brought her sister-in-law and neice to class.  So this made 4.

I am enjoying the class. I don't break a sweat, and yet I don't hold poses quite as long as my instructor either. I'm still working on my breathing techniques and haven't really felt sore this week. So I don't know that I'm making any real physical advancement but mentally its wonderful.

I won't get to go to class at all next week because of work, but I'll try and catch up with some of the morning videos.

Meanwhile, it sucks a bit to be dress shopping right now. I feel like crap. Nothing I want to fit does and I really can't "afford" anything that I like. So it just breaks my spirit to be searching for something that I know I can't have even if I found it.

Money is a sorry topic. It sends instant shivers up my spine and I don't know how different my financial situation would be if I was single...but I can acknowledge that it is the way it is because I'm married. 'nough said.

Oh I wanted a snow day today sooo bad. So many offices closed because of icy roads and I desperately wanted to stay home curled up in the bed. Instead, I ventured out and rewarded myself with the worst thing possible: food.

Breakfast from McD's and an awesome sushi lunch. Emotionally food really makes me happy. And then I think of those dresses I'm trying to fit in and I feel like crap again.

I don't know the answer to my own questions so I'll leave it up to you........am I the only one who is emotionally comforted and rewarded by food only to regret it later?